Heartache

I don't know where I am exactly going with this post just yet so I just decided to write what I am feeling, under the title of heart ache.

Its sad when you feel like a kid. You have no voice, your constantly being controlled and feeling unappreciated.

I hate when you put all of your time and worth into a relationship and your waiting for the other half of the relationship to catch up, knowing that it will never do that.

It seems the only thing that is keeping me sane is my kid. She doesn't have a worry in the world. She gets her feelings hurt and I am not the one to judge exactly how that feels because I'm not in her mind or heart... What I do know is that I don't ever want her to feel what I am feeling right now.

A woman's heart is so fragile. Its vulnerable and so open. A man seems like they don't have a heart...they don't have feelings or emotions. They don't cry. They don't contemplate a woman's heart or feelings. They just flow through the relationship without any concerns. The strongest thing a man puts into a relationship is the fall back plan of when they do get out of the relationship. Its pathetic.

I hate the feeling of depression. The feeling they throw on you while they sit back and smile like they rule the world.

Is there anything to do about that?

Do We Want Too Much?

A lot of women wonder if they want too much. Does anyone ever take the time to separate or even analyze if the things women want, maybe just aren't all wants, that maybe some of those wants are needs too.

I think I can speak for every woman when I say that all women want a man in their life that treats them as a queen, treats them with respect and loves them for who they are. Is that too much to ask for? My honest answer is no.

Most things men want from a woman is someone who can cook, clean, sexually satisfy them, and take care of the kids. For a woman, that is a lot of work to do. It doesn't take much for showing respect and love.
So why do men complain when you express these things to them. Physically, a woman gets exhausted from cleaning and cooking, etc. everyday. But how do you get exhausted from loving?

Yes I do admit there are some women who yearn for the nicer things in life. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you are doing your job as a woman. If its his choice to show his appreciation in gifts, then let it be.

But the women who are being scandalous and looking for all the wrong things, make it harder for the rest of the women who are working hard to keep our men pleased and for our men to trust us.

How We Feel

There is always a certain time of the month when a woman feels down and out and just plain ugly. No! I'm not talking about the time we are having a period. I'm talking about the times when we have bad hair days, don't know what to wear days, and even depressed for no reason days.

Ever since I was younger, I have always wondered why we have those days. It didn't occur to me until just now that all I have to do is Google it. So I did.

The truth is and always will remain that No one Knows! Estrogen levels in women can never predict when a woman will have an emotional bad day. Estrogen is a mysterious thing. It drives me nuts because I want to be prepared for those days so I don't have to feel like a damsel in distress!  I don't want to beat myself up over an emotion that I can't control and that will maybe last for a day or two.

Its embarrassing when you try to explain these feelings to your boyfriend and the only thing he can say is: "ummmm". The whole situation makes you look like a complete idiot and it makes the entire situation and the emotional disaster worse.

When I have these days, I feel so down and there is nothing in the world that can make me feel better... Sometimes not even comfort foods such as ice cream and chocolate of which I actually just went to the store and bought chocolate fudge brownie ice cream.

My point is, I would really like to know why these things are and if anyone has any guess as to why this happens, please let me know.

Thanks so much for reading!

Perspective on Women and Becoming a Lady

Being a woman is a wonderful thing. There are many things that define a woman, including the way she acts and the way she carries herself.
The best way a woman can act is like a lady.
The worst kind of women is those that are called horrible names. They are given these names because that's what they perceive themselves to be. What I mean by this is the young teen girls and even grown women, who call themselves "bad bitches" and many other things. They learn this from the music videos and movies they watch. Many of you may know exactly what I am talking about. Here's a clue if you don't. Nicki minaj, Beyonce, and lady gaga to name a few.
Every day the few good women out there that are left are constantly being degraded because of this.
The few women out there that are conserved to be ladies, don't deserve to be called names.

For those of you who call yourselves "bad bitches" and you like to "twerk" in public...shame on you. You hate to be called bitches and hoes yet you call yourselves that and you act that way. You deserve it.

Being a woman is a beautiful thing but it can turn ugly really fast. I want to change this epidemic of twerking and the bad bitch plague, and set the record for the difference between us and them.

Should you want to be a lady, this is some steps to go about doing that.

1.Change Your Ways!
A lady doesn't twerk in public or even at all. If you want to dance, that's fine but you don't have to expose yourself to the public or dance hoe-ish.
Being loud, ghetto and obnoxious is a major turn off to men and its definitely not a good look for a lady. The way you act defines you completely. Its like another highway to your true personality. You don't have to be quiet and unsocial, just be civilized! There are plenty of times that I run across YouTube videos and I am so appauled by the nature of the videos that grown women and young teens post. Not only do they make themselves look bad, they expose themselves to the world. They give women a bad name and they think that its okay to do so! Being a lady takes a lot now a days since the world has been exposed to the raw music industry's sexual scandal. Just because you see "video hoes" doing things, doesn't mean you have to follow. Be a leader and set an example for once. Is that the way you would raise your daughter?

2.Birds of a Feather Flock Together
If you hang with a hoe-ish crowd, you are bound to be called names and be perceived as those names. Your crowd defines you. I'm not saying you don't have to have friends but choose wisely. Personally, I don't have friends because my generation has not grown up yet and they are all recklessly sexual in all the wrong ways. Those types of crowds aren't good company. Crowds are just like stereotyping. If you hangs with hoes, you act like one and you are one. Point, blank period. Ladies don't do these things. When your in a setting of crowds, you can tell females apart very easily. There are girls who are constantly standing by being loud and obnoxious, begging for attention..there are also girls who are dick riders, these girls have no shame in what they do and how they do it. They will be all over a man and his friends, not caring what those men's intentions are because they are down for anything just to feel "loved and wanted". Then there are the actually ladies who are either having a good time and enjoying their company or they are at home. You will barely notice them in the crowd if your are female, until you notice another man with her. Can you see the difference?

3.The Way You Carry Yourself
The way you dress says a lot about you.
Yes, people judge and you can't say its right or wrong. Its okay to dress a certain way to your mans liking but dressing that way for the world is a different story. If you have to dress like a hoe to get attention or for someone to like you, you are already messing up. If a man likes you, he will like you for your personality and personal beauty. Carrying yourself boils down to the way you dress, the way you walk, how accurate and proper your speak, how educated you are, the knowledge you have, and the passion for learning more or even a passion for something else that's important. Understanding what you are in the world for is a plus. Standing completely 100% behind what you do, say and think. Be yourself; its the only way someone will understand and appreciate who you are. Originality is hard to come by. A man doesn't want to hear what other women have said a billion times. Don't lie. If you have to lie about something you like or something you do, you are already headed down the wrong road. Honesty is the best policy!  If you are not sure or just have absolutely no idea about something, don't be afraid to ask or show it. It doesn't mean you are dumb. If everyone in the world knew everything there is to know about everything, there wouldnt be any questions. With out questions, there are no conversations!
A woman is meant to be vulnerable but strong. Weak women are turn offs for men and its an opening for some men who want to take advantage of you. Learn your strengths and weaknesses. Improve and improve again because there is always room for it.

4.Natural is Better
Natural beauty is the best beauty. You don't have to cake your face with make  up to be beautiful...it will only make you look like plastic..and then you will be perceived as fake. Its okay to have a little mascara or eyeliner but less is more. Even if you have imperfections in your face or body, a man who loves you for you, will look past that.
It may be hard to believe, but its very true. You don't have to literally look perfect to be beautiful. Every woman has their own individual beauty. Having a big ass or breats is NOT beauty so don't go around trying to flaunt things that will get you hurt. Beauty comes with many things, it can be your smile even if you have less than perfect teeth, all the way to the color of your eyes or the grade of hair you have. Some women don't have this fortunate blessing. Even then, you don't have to glue every last space on your head to a track of weave. That brings me to another thing. Women! When you choose weave, neon and highlighter colors are not cute. And since when have you known for a black woman to be born with blonde hair. You gossip and yell all day about the "white women stealing our black men" yet you try to rock the same hair color they do! So how does that make you any better? That definitely shows a sign of jealousy and weakness. Updo's don't have to have crazy designs. Simple says a lot more most of the time. If you don't have long enough hair, why the hell do you go out of your way trying to stuff every strand in a ponytail that doesn't stay? You look ridiculous and men see this so please STOP! Someone please tell me why women use fake lashes! They are horrible and they look like bats every time you blink. They are fake and they look stupid. You may think you look good, but you look artificial and men hate that. A couple more things are contacts and drawn on eyebrows. They just look ridiculous, so quit!

5.The Truth Hurts & It Helps
A man may tell you what he thinks of you.
It may or may not be true. Take it into consideration because most of the time it is true. Do an evaluation and make some changes. It may hurt but it will only better yourself. Don't get it confused, you don't have to change yourself for anyone but do change the way you do things. A man will only give his honest opinion about you..its just an opinion but it is an opinion that says a lot. A man hates a liar. Do not lie about anything what so ever. It makes them upset and lying only adds fuel to the fire. Even if it hurts you or them, the truth is better than anything. A lot of women lie about their past or who they have been with. Even simple things like if they graduated high school or if they have ever been in love. Why lie about it? If a man doesn't like the truth you have told, then so be it. You may not be his cup of tea but you can be another mans cup of coffee. Don't lie just to keep him around. Its pathetic and it wastes valuable time.

6.Your Body is Your Temple
Don't get it twisted. You don't have to expose yourself to show the beauty within. Everyone has different religious perspectives so don't take offense. Tattoos may be wrong or right. It can be an expression but it can also be a disgrace. Some men prefer them, some don't. To me, tattoos are okay..just don't let it get the best of you. Regrets are horrible things to live with so be careful  and wise when you ink your body. Same with peiercings. Hygiene is an absolute must! You don't have to have the perfect teeth to have a beautiful smile. Take care of yourself in every way possible. If you are not sure what to do, see a doctor, do research..it helps in so many ways. It may seem weird, but talking to your man may help too. Sometimes men know things that you don't. They do research too. Getting tested and having safe sex is great. A healthy person is great, there arent that many healthy people around. Knowing your body inside and out is the best way to go. You are what you eat so take your eating habits into consideration.

7.Don't Be Foolish
Don't go sleeping around with any and everybody. Love takes a while so don't think just because a man will sleep with you, that he loves you. Its a complete lie. Gullibility is a horrible feature and it will only get you hurt. Don't move too fast. Time is a valuable thing so don't rush to sleep with someone just because. A woman knows what she wants in life. Know the things you need. Education is everything. Getting pregnant shouldn't be a thought for a young lady. Having 5 different baby daddy's isn't cute. It only says you are willing to sleep with anyone unprotected which makes you look like a hoe. It's very unsafe. AIDS is the number one killing disease and it is easy to catch. Sleeping with someone on the first, second, or third date isn't cute. Give it time. Honestly, that subject shouldn't come across until months or even a year later. Don't let yourself be controlled by anything or anyone. It shows your weaknesses and it will only lead to trouble. You won't have a voice anymore. Set your values and morals and stick to them. Its the best way and it shows that you are independent and you respect and love yourself.

Last but not least,
8.Be Educated
There is no such thing as being too smart. Education is a powerful tool. Your mind is such a terrible thing to waste so fill it with as much knowledge as you can. A smart woman is an eye catcher to men. It brings so much to the table and has so much opportunity for conversation. There are so many things to learn so why wait? An educated woman shows how much she has learned and how wise she will be.
A woman should use knowledge to her fullest advantage.

Please! Every woman who reads this should feel more enlightened. If you feel offended, it only goes to show that you have a lot of growing up to do. Become a smart, beautiful woman. There isn't anything bad that you can say about it!

Thanks for reading and if you have any suggestions or comments, please feel free to do so.